I am currently tightening my first movie review for this blog but I wanted to get two announcements out first; this was actually chopped off the upper part of the actual article--because it was messing with the whole crisp of the thing. So, here:
One, if you're expecting a Forrest Gump type review where I write ish like, the cinematography very convincinly reflected all the eras portrayed in the film in a way that gave viewers a time-travel experience into the nineties... Please don't bother opening any movie review link from here and just go kick it with the folks at The Guardian or UK Telegraph or something. I don't do official, so my movie reviews—not critique, when I do write or publish them, will literally be taking the classic Mushin-Olosha secondary school did-you-watch-secret-of-the-sand-yesterday style. Forget it, if you don't know, you won't know. 😅
Two, in case you're one of those who like to go, "Oh, I don't watch Nigerian movies," because you think it makes you sound cool, well darlin', let me just start by saying it doesn't. But because I understand your chains and the fact that there really is such a thing as a bad 'hood experience—Nolly or nah, I'll give you a repentance hack: follow the directors. And if you don't know where to begin, I'll starter-pack you with my personal favorites: Tunde Kelani, Kunle Afolayan, Biodun Stephen, Niyi Akinmolayan, and of course Kemi Adetiba. You just can never go wrong with a Mainframe or Golden Effects Or Anthill Or ShutterSpeed Or KAV project. Trust me, I know my movies. There are others, but these are Nollywood's Keating 5, as I like to think of 'em.
There, announcements done.
And may I just wrap this up by saying thank God for all our new and renewed Nigerian movie makers for the improved party scenes, amen? Child, didn't you just hate how you'd be watching a movie and then you get to the scene where a supposed influential person has a crème de la crème ish party going and all the guests in attendance be, like, twenty burnt face, badly-dressed, terribly made up folks with their spongy weaves and moju powder slapped atop their epo-akara glossed lips and shii and the music appears to be coming from a Walkman and all the refreshments are on some wooden table and you don't even get up to half a crate of Pepsi...LOOOL!
So thank you, new Nollywood, for our party scenes!
Yep. Now I can get to the actual review. I knew I wanted to do a review (again, not critique) after I saw the very first scene of this movie, but I didn't have a notepad with me so I just had to save it for later. I just watched it again, and now I got all my deets right; just gotta piece it all together now. So, watch this space...